Being an actor is tough - anyone who has ever faced the emotional roller coaster of auditioning can attest to this. It seems everyone has heard that actors should "get used to rejection", and its true, you do learn to live with the potential that you will not get all the roles you want. Sadly, this makes a rejection streak somewhat jarring when coming off of a ""pinch-me-could-I-possibly-be-this-lucky" streak. Hello, depression.
My friends, trying their best to be helpful (when honestly they're probably thinking what a jerk I am for not being satisfied with the roles I've already portrayed in 2013) suggested I had been working non-stop for so long perhaps I needed the break. Nonsense! I huffed, I get depressed when I'm not onstage - which is absolutely true.
But there are always things we don't see coming. Several months ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding in July and the Matron of Honor in a college buddy's wedding in October. I was terrifically excited for a couple weeks, and then I promptly derailed into my incessant worries about being "the fat bridesmaid". This worry coupled with a convenient groupon forced me to face my anxiety/fear and take a yoga class. Once I'd used the value of my groupon I was hooked. I kept taking tougher and longer classes as often as possible. Given my heavy rehearsal schedule, this was difficult, but I made the time. Eventually thought, my theatre schedule and my yoga schedule because un-workable.
Undeterred, I signed up for a yoga channel on my Roku and began practicing at home... however, by this time I had lost a fair amount of the balance and strength I had gained over those months. I was thinking it was okay, and I was still feeling like I was much more toned than I had been - although it concerned me that on my monthly doctor visits I seemed to weigh more than I felt I ought.
...then my sister's wedding photos came in. They are stunning, the photographer did an amazing job, but I am without a doubt "the fat bridesmaid". Staring at those photos, I considered my new-found free time, the Husband's recent decision to start walking on his lunches at work, and the fact that our 3 year old Australian Cattle dog had picked up a little extra pudge around his hips. I decided we would walk as a family (the 10 year old cat would not be forced along as I once tried to walk a cat and it was a wildly unsuccessful endeavor which resulted in my sister and I dragging a large, very fluffy blue cream calico by a leash down the sidewalk - thank goodness for all the fur or the sidewalk would have done a number on her side!) I ran the plan past the Husband and he agreed. We would walk on the bike path down by the river every night, unless it was dark or raining. I was allowed to run ahead if I wanted to and he was allowed to bring his swanky new camera if he wanted. That was last week. Last week we walked on Monday, had a meeting on Tuesday and then we got lazy. Over the weekend I stepped in a hornet's nest and while attempting to strip my hornet-laden clothes to get into the shower, I stepped on one, it promptly stung me, causing me to scream, jump, roll my ankle and fall... No running on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday.
Today, I felt better. I convinced the Husband we needed to get moving and we'd both feel better. He relented. I planned to walk, but immediately found myself - just as the week before - interval training. It seemed I wanted to be able to run again. I was proud. Last week I ran 3 miles in 43 minutes, with an average pace of 14:18. Tonight I ran 3.40 miles in 46 minutes, with an average pace of 13:37! Not bad improvement. I was so pleased, I decided to set a goal. I plugged in my weight and told my app I would like to lose 15 lbs by the day of my friend's wedding. The app told me this was a tough goal - nothing I didn't already know... then I got home and actually weighed myself and found I actually weighed 8lbs more than I thought.
Suddenly, I'm so thrilled for this spare time I plan on running tomorrow sunshine or torrential downpour. Also, despite the late hour, I'll be prying myself out of bed super early tomorrow so I can do some yoga before my morning shower. With any luck I'll at least weigh what I thought I weighed before when I slip on that espresso satin sheath in October.
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