Everybody's free to feel good

Tomorrow marks two momentous occasions: my first yoga practice in over six weeks and my first MadLab Christmas.

I was terrified to take on this Roulette role. I never thought I would be able to allow myself to be gutsy enough to pantomime having sex onstage. The idea scared the shit out of me, but I couldn't see a reason not to take on the challenge. It was a tough rehearsal process, opening up, exposing myself in such a way... but I kept at it and I like to think I found my stride. But the best bit has been acting with my husband. This play, the intimacy, the honesty - it has opened up our relationship in little ways I would have thought  weren't possible after almost nine years of marriage. I am unbelievably grateful.

Just a mere year ago, I was an incredibly unhappy person. Unfulfilled, frustrated, over-worked, under-appreciated, and my talents as an actress were simply not being utilized. I felt I was not valued anywhere and that no one truly appreciated me. Now, I'm overwhelmed by the roles being offered to me - the opportunities to stretch myself and grow I had been longing for. My marriage is happier, my friends are true.

I missed 6 weeks of yoga due to unfortunate, unforeseen circumstances. I don't regret my choices, but I regret the impact missing practice for so long has had on my body. Admittedly, I'm pretty scared to go tomorrow - I'd hoped to have some moral support, but perhaps it's better this way. Yoga is about inner strength, sometimes it's a good thing to take something on by yourself.

It's Just Question of Eliminating Obstacles

We all say the same things - or at least it seems that way (and coincidentally we all sound like a late-90's Sheryl Crow song): "No one said it would be easy, but no one said it's be this hard." and this just idn't how I thought my life would be, and I just though I'd be more established by now.

Well folks, its happening. After 8 years of marriage which included 3 of Husband in law school, followed by 4 of him working like hell to find a job and/or make his solo practice work, followed by the same with the addition of a few adjunct classes for a local college... today he started a new job. And folks, this is no small thing. It's part time, yet still enough that all of a sudden I feel the pressure lifting from my shoulders. No more must I suffer the unexpected burden of breadwinner. No more must I feel trapped in an unsatisfying, horribly stressful, dead-end job. 

Those people who say "I hate musicals! That never happens. No one ever just randomly bursts into song." I feel a little badly for them, they must have never felt pure joy.